Motherhood

Motherhood was something I dreamed about and wanted for a long time. When I first got married and let's be honest even before that I thought about what it would be like to be a mother. Now that I am one there are some similarities to what I imagined but mostly it is so much different, and so much better than I ever could have imagined in my head.

When I first got pregnant I bought all these books and looked at websites about pregnancy and parenting and it was fun but I don't think you can ever really prepare enough for what is about to happen. Having Isaac has literally changed my life. I feel a new stronger love and this love has helped me to understand even more how deeply Our Father God loves us. I love my husband deeply, with all my heart, but the love I feel for Isaac is different. It's hard to explain but the best way to describe it is that I can understand unconditional love better. When I met Weston I had to grow to love him. It didn't just instantly happen. Things that we did together and conversations that we had helped to develop and strengthen our love over time. But with Isaac the love I have for him isn't based on anything that he has done. I loved him the moment I laid eyes on him.

It's so amazing to me that that is what God's love for us is like. He unconditionally loves us. I heard it growing up in church but I never really grasped the enormity of till becoming a mother. No matter what I do God unconditionally loves me. I may disappoint him at times, probably pretty often but that never weakens his love for me.

But back to motherhood : ) I love it!! In my eyes, Isaac is the perfect baby. I love his big eyes, his incredibly soft skin, his plump little thighs, and his coos. I love how when I look at him and say "HI" his little face lights up and he gives me the biggest smile. I love our special moments as he's nursing, and the little bit of pointy hair on the tips of his ears.

He is growing up so fast. It seems like each day he learns something new. Right now he is pretty good at holding his head up. He likes to be in a sitting position when you hold him and gets up set if you hold him sideways like a baby. He loves to look out at the world and show off his sitting skills. Just this week he has started sucking on his fist and its so adorable! He is working on grabbing toys. He will keep a toy in his hand if we put it there but he hasn't quite mastered grabbing them himself. Watching him grow and discover new things is an amazing job!

Motherhood like everything has its hard moments too. It's mostly hard for me at night. I love my sleep and some nights Isaac wakes up a little too often for my liking. It is those nights when he won't stay asleep and I am so sleepy that I become irrational and start crying and get frustrated. Usually when I hit that point I wake up Weston and ask him to take over, which he gladly does because he's awesome! Really though Isaac is an excellent sleeper at night most of the time.

Even with the hard moments I feel so incredibly blessed to be a mother. I am excited to see watch my son grow up and to help him learn new things!

~Kristen